Anybody who got a cosmetology license, committed to being an entrepreneur and small business owner. Your success is entirely on your shoulders. No one is going to build a clientele for you or create a reputation on your behalf.
But so many stylists feel like their partners, who are in more traditional jobs, donโt quite understand what itโs like to be in this industry, and why we canโt just work a Monday to Friday job and be present at home. Thatโs why today weโre diving deeper to get some insight into what your spouses really think about your job as a hair stylist.
It would have been easy for me to just preach my ideas about work/life balance and why partners donโt understand our careers, but Iโm a little bit biased because I am a stylist and an entrepreneur. But what if I talked to your spouses and found out what they were really thinking? So thatโs what I did.
83% believe that being a stylist provides you with the best possible chance at financial success
Your spouses donโt fall into the stigma of โeverybodyโs a broke hair stylist.โ 37% felt the sky was the limit financially for you and the vast majority (83%) believe you are in the best financial position for you. Theyโre so glad youโre in this career and that there was nowhere else you should be.
I didnโt expect the overwhelming 84% who love it and are happy for you when you take time away from your day-to-day life to travel and take classes or make time for education. Your partners are really supporting you in taking the time you need.
53% felt their partnersโ schedule wasnโt ideal, but theyโd make it work
Out of the options, many people chose โMy partner can work whatever makes he or she happy.โ Half said the schedule is doable with the vast majority (82%) having the biggest problem with Saturdays.
If your partner has a 9 to 5 job, theyโre off the weekends and want to spend some time with you. A lot of partners said itโs a bummer you work Saturdays, but theyโve found ways to make themselves busy that day. If your partner is having trouble with you working on Saturdays, see if thereโs something theyโve always wanted to try that you can support. Focus that attention away from your schedule to a new hobby.
On the flip side of that, not taking time off is not a way to live, not healthy, and not good for your family dynamic. Donโt do it. Take time off and try working every other Saturday. Be open to all options.
85% felt their partner worked from home during a time when they felt you should be more present on being home with them
Many stylists still allow clients to text to book appointments. Accepting text appointments makes it too easy to end up working around the clock, so I encourage you to stop that habit as soon as possible. What other business do you know that if the owner doesnโt respond at 9:30 at night, theyโve lost your business?
Most of the happiest stylists are the ones who donโt accept text or phone appointments anymore. There are better systems to put in place in your business. Itโs the only way you can have a true work/life balance.
84% felt that their partner used social media more than they did on a daily basis
36% feel like you are on your phone 24 hours a day. So I asked โIf you feel like theyโre living on social media, what do you think theyโre doing all the time?โ Here are some direct quotes:
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โSheโs showing off her work, making connections, trying to advertise her business.โ
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โUses it for an escape or an education. Itโs a pretty 50/50 mix.โ
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โMarkets, shares her education, then wastes loads of time.โ
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โSpends a lot of time networking with other brands. Needs to spend more time targeting new clients.โ
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โSnooping. Looking in everyone elseโs pages instead of working to build her own.โ
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โHe clicks on everything. He says itโs work related, but Iโm pretty sure parody videos arenโt related to hair.โ
These are the thoughts that are rolling through our partnersโ minds. Sometimes our partners really donโt understand that when weโre scrolling and looking for other peopleโs work, we really are looking for inspiration. Part of this is misunderstanding, the other part is harsh reality.
Social media can be a major time suck. If you are going to use it for nonsense, say youโre not working and shut it down if your partner gets annoyed. If you are using it for work, get on, do what you need to do and get off. Have a more structured system around it because our partners see what weโre doing and to them it feels like a big, fat waste of time.
Question: If you think there are things your partner is sacrificing or missing out more on than the average person due to his or her career choice, what do you think he or she is missing out on?
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โShe doesnโt miss out on much. We donโt make many sacrifices. Sheโs been really aggressive in planning and setting systems to help manage her business and our family. We are a team and I help whenever I can.โ
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โBusiness owners sacrifice more than most. 9 to 5 schedule, not happening. But in the end, I think she knows it. I know she tries to balance everything with me and my son. Itโs a battle and I know she fights hard.โ
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โDue to being on her phone more than I would hope, she misses out on a lot of time as a family, and we donโt have a lot of time as it is. Once sheโs home, focusing on the family instead of social media or taking texts and calls from her clients, itโs great. Wish we had more of that.โ
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โShe misses out on hockey games, travel and date nights.โ
A lot of partners who met their professionally-successful spouses, like athletes or business professionals, before they made it, will say they fell in love with the person, not the profession. But the profession ends up being the other love of the personโs life and they are competing for attention. If you feel like you are having a disconnect with your partner, that may be why.
Question: Is there anything you wished your partner knew that might make life a little bit or a lot better?
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โWhen sheโs answering clients well after business hours, it bothers me. I began years ago to not look at or answer my business phone or emails after a certain time with very few exceptions. Wish she could follow that same set of guidelines.โ
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โStop focusing on doing a thousand things at once. Itโs okay to take a break and be here when youโre home.โ
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โShe does know these things, but getting more clients to call the salon and book using online booking so the evenings can truly be hers. I wish she would find more time to do things for herself, like a morning routine, like a workout, a run, a walk with the dog. Whatever would make her happy.โ
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โShe needs to know that she is enough. Sheโs enough for all of us. Itโs a major burden to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, stylist, owner, housekeeper, educator, counselor, chef, cook, nurse, leader, and everything in between perfectly. No one can do that. Instead, we lock arms, figure out what needs to be done, and step into our day together. Sometimes hitting a bump in the road, but always together.โ
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โI wish she knew she had it. Days will pass, goals will be achieved. Donโt take every day so seriously. The stress of deadlines will make you smile once they pass.โ
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โHer hopes and dreams are important. I support her hopes and dreams 100%. However, I married her. Not the hopes and dreams. She puts in a lot of effort in the scheme of our finances, but money isnโt that important. If a guy did this to his wife, heโd be called a workaholic and judged an absentee father maybe even. I know sheโs home a lot, but she isnโt present.โ
If we could all just take a little piece of that away with us, I think weโd all find a little more balance.
Question: For those of you who feel like you have a good work/life balance, what is the secret?
Only 30% of those surveyed answered this question. So that either means that 70% believe there is no good work/life balance, which may be true, or theyโre not sure what the secret sauce is.
Any guesses to what the number one answer was? Communication.
It came up over and over and over again. Mutual respect and support of each otherโs endeavors and desire for each other to be happy. Expect a roller coaster ride through life, ups and downs, keep your ego in check. Have an understanding of each otherโs goals and aspirations. Respect each other and both want to grow to be better.
Can you see the common thread? They were all the same: communication and partnership.
Whatโs next?
Ready to find professional common ground for you and your partner? Hereโs how.
Create defined working hours for yourself
The B.S. of โI donโt have timeโ is crap. You need to find the time and create defined working hours. Every business owner (every stylist is business owner) needs a few hours every week dedicated to our business. Itโs not time squeezed in between TV shows; itโs you in a room by yourself doing things to push your business forward. Morning hours, when your partner is at work before you need to be in the salon, is a really nice time.
If you are a salon owner behind the chair five days a week, itโs going to be incredibly difficult for you to run a profitable salon. Dedicate a second block of time to ownership; maybe lose one day on books and have that be your salon management day.
Streamline communication with your guests
Tell your clients to not text after 7 p.m. If they do, reply when youโre back in the salon. Create channels of communication so they arenโt blowing you up all of the time. Your partners find it annoying, and you likely find it annoying. Create a better system.
Be with a partner who has their own focus as well
Encourage your partner to find something they can be passionate about while youโre working on your business. If your partner is not happy in their career, it can be difficult for them to support you in your professional happiness.
I think we are so fortunate to have partners in this industry to be open and share their hearts. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner, set up a system to better connect with your guests, and create defined working hours so you can find that ideal work/life balance.