You should know that I like a little bit of controversy. I live and breathe that to my core because when I set out to become an educator, I wanted to disrupt this entire industry and flip it on its head. If I’m going to do that and make everybody who becomes a stylist also an incredibly savvy businessperson, I’m going to have to be controversial. What got us here won’t get us there, and until I start causing controversy, we’re never going to make a change.
This topic was inspired in this vein because I’ve talked about the white space before. We are supposed to have white space, and if you have not experienced it or you’re convinced you don’t need it, you’re currently struggling to breathe. You’re going to feel overwhelmed and lost. And even if you love your day-to-day life, it doesn’t mean you don’t need white space.
I commented on my Instagram feed about how I was taking some white space, and a beautiful follower asked, “I don’t understand. Wouldn’t it just be better to create a life that you don’t need a break, escape, or white space from?”
I love this question. To me, that’s like saying, “Wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t have to breathe air?”
As humans, we need oxygen, and we need white space. It’s like the air we breathe. White space is not a break or escape. It’s a piece of the puzzle, and it’s attainable for everybody. I think a lot of times when I talk about white space, we picture like $20,000 yachts off the coast of Bora Bora or something like that, but it doesn’t have to be.
White space has nothing to do with money, an abundance of time, an escape, or a break. You need it in your life like the air you breathe. I want you to chase it hard, and I’m going to give you some skills and strategies to make that happen.
What is white space?
We call it white space because it isn’t yet cluttered with life. It’s vast, it’s unmarked, and it’s filled only with endless possibility.
The clutter of life is a mix of good and bad. It’s things like dishes, laundry, bills, and debt. Do you like any of those things? Most of us would say no, not our favorites, but we’ve learned to make these things okay. But when we don’t have to do them, it’s pretty awesome.
Then there are things like our career, commuting, and things that fall into this middle ground. A lot of times we love our careers, but then there are times where you’re like, I’m living in groundhog’s day, and something has to change around here if I’m going to stay inspired. I used to commute, and I liked it because it was often my only alone time during the day as a parent of two.
And then there’s beautiful clutter, like kids, partners, family, and friends, which 98% of the time we see as beautiful confusion. And there’s that 2% where we’re like, ah, this is crazy.
I love the clutter. So why am I pushing it to the side? Because I can’t see what’s beyond that clutter when I’m in the thick of it.
Picture you’re in the middle of a forest with hundreds of trees all around you. You’re standing right in the center, and as far as the eye can see, there are beautiful, massive trees. All of your loved ones are in that forest with you. You feel like it just does not get better than this amazing forest. Who could ask for anything more? But what if just beyond your line of sight right now is an even more beautiful forest?
And maybe in that second forest, the trees bear fruit, but you don’t even know what you’re missing that. You don’t even know what fruit is. So how would you know what you’re missing? But maybe in that forest just beyond, there’s bananas, apples, oranges, mangoes and all of these incredible things that you’re missing out on because they’re just beyond your line of sight.
That’s how most of us live our life. We’re standing in a cluttered forest where we look around and think life is just so good.
You can’t complain until you see the other possibilities lying just beyond and you can move your loved ones so they can be even happier in that new forest because they get to experience all of the wonderful things. And maybe when you look beyond that for us, there’s something even better.
Imagine you’re in that forest and the trees start sinking right into the ground slowly. You’re starting to feel the sun breakthrough, and you open your eyes to see a vast land you didn’t even know existed. This is the place you can make all of your family’s dreams come true. That’s what happens when you create the white space.
I know some of you are thinking life is really freaking good, I don’t need this escape or whatever. It’s scientifically proven that humans are the happiest when they are constantly trying to get a little bit better. There’s always a next level, but when you’re standing in that forest, and you can’t see the forest for the trees. If you could imagine that just maybe it could get just a little bit better, those trees would come down, and your potential would explode. That’s what I invite you to experience with me here in this white space.
What happens in white space?
White space is softly-focused (a.k.a., shouldn’t feel hard) time with equal amounts of input and output. There are no strategic goals necessarily when you walk into white space, only clarity, inspiration, peace of mind, and a light heart.
1. Balance Input and Output
Tell me if you can relate to this: You listen to six podcasts a week, you read self-health or inspiration books and blogs, you go to classes, you’re an education junkie. That is all input.
We are really great at consuming input and really terrible at output. Generally speaking, we’ll listen to a podcast and think that’s a great idea, you should apply these things. And then you turn off the podcast, your phone rings and your kid needs things from the grocery store. You go to the store but forget something, so they’re mad when you go home. By the time you’ve done that whole diatribe, you don’t even remember what the podcast was about because all you did was input it with no output.
On the flip side, in a white space mode, it’s always equal amounts of input and output.
You know that book you’ve been wanting to read, and you haven’t found the time to do it? You need white space, and you need to do it properly. You highlight the book, make notes, and then you journal and action plan after reading it. If it doesn’t sound like vacation, it’s not. It’s work, not an escape. It is like the air we breathe.
You can brain dump all the messages you want to relay to your social media following, and then sit down and write out 10 captions in 60 minutes. I know that sounds impossible, like 10 captions, 60 minutes, I don’t think so. But six minutes is plenty of time to write a good caption if your head is clear and you’re not sitting there staring at a photo, wondering what to say. That’s not white space. That’s frustration.
In white space, when you’re thinking up what you want your clients to think about you, you’d be amazed. Your brain just works in a really different way when you set it up for success.
2. Daydream a little
Another white space activity that I really like to do is to daydream a little bit. Think about what you want your life to look like, what you want your work schedule to look like, and everything that you hate about your current career.
Don’t lie. Don’t say there’s nothing you don’t like. That’s not true. Do you spend too much on color? Do you not like the hours that you work? Do you feel like you don’t make enough margin on your retail?
During white space, brainstorm how you can work your way out of that into a space where you’re just 10% happier. What could shift the needle just a little bit to make your week, your life, your year a little bit smoother?
3. Work through an idea
White space can help you see ideas through all the way to the finale. Sometimes it’s crystal clear that you need to take action on this now because this is so good, and sometimes you’ll think, “I’m glad I didn’t proceed with that.”
You can’t sort through hundreds of ideas to find the 6% that’s great until you have that white space. The earlier we can see the good and the bad side of anything we plan to work on, it’s truly life-changing. It can change the direction of your entire life, and we have to take advantage of those moments.
So is this a break? Is this an escape? No. Can you see why I say this is the air you breathe? It will literally change the direction of your life if you’re able to think with this kind of clarity.
4. Find some space
We go to Lake Tahoe, California three to five times a year because it is a white space zone of genius for all of us. But it was not a vacation because I was working a lot at the time. I spent a lot of time. I was working a lot and reading a lot, listening to podcasts.
It’s clearly not our family vacation. These are white space trips. These are not breaks. It is the air you breathe. This is something you incorporate into your life. Now I can’t be in Lake Tahoe every weekend, so I can’t always do that giant stretch of white space, so I try to do quick shots of white space. Half an hour here, ten minutes there, like a shot of adrenaline.
5. Get an Adrenaline Jolt
For me, being physical in that way is a great way to get quick white space. I can run with Cooper and listen to music, to a podcast, or in silence. There’s something about being in pace with him and shutting out the outside world for that time that makes my mind runs crazy clear.
For you, it might be sitting on a yoga mat, laying on the floor, something different. Find the place where your mind is clear and where you let your mind wander in a way that it doesn’t get distracted. It’s going to work out a lot of those thoughts and question marks for you.
6. Hit Do Not Disturb
Often we are not productive because life throws us so much clutter. But when you can get into the white space, there is no clutter, and it’s just endless possibility, and you get so much more done.
I like to get kind of mid-range white space on an airplane. I don’t pay for the WiFi, I have earphones in and because my cell phone isn’t gonna ring, I have at minimum 90 minutes of uninterrupted time to do whatever I want.
You might not be on airplanes a ton. I’ve heard people find white space clarity in the car or the shower is another place. I challenge you to really think beyond that, though. Something that’s more of a practice, like laying on that yoga mat or sitting in the backyard in a favorite spot, for 90 minutes. It will be way more effective. Find a place where you can’t be disturbed, you’re just at one with yourself, and you’ll be amazed at how much clarity you have.
We also take more family white space. The more of that time we can take, the better off we are as a family. We’ll do things like go to Lake Tahoe or have a stay-cation and do backyard camping or something.
It’s a break from reality, so it doesn’t have to be expensive. It has to be a break from the routine where I’m not cooking, we are not doing dishes, we’re not stressing about bill paying. It’s light, it’s fun. It’s just effective, clear white space where you’re able just to explore all of the possibilities, and you would be amazed at what happens.
So I know you still have kind of a spinning mind and this all sounds a little bit crazy.
If you’re the person who’s got three things in the works and one thing on the back burner, but you’re thinking about doing something else and this is on hold. Lordy, do you need white space.
Explore the option of finding that shot of adrenaline white space this week, that little something that allows you to have clarity. Create some kind of white space in your week. Everybody can find this kind of time and practice different things to see what you can do to get yourself into white space. You’ll know you’re there when you feel extra confident, and your mind starts coming up with some really great ideas and you find that you’re able to get into a flow. That’s what white space feels like.
My ask of you this week, find yourself some white space.