Being holistically wealthy means having time, love, money, and health. When we’re wealthy, we have a good balance of all those pieces. It’s a beautiful feeling that everyone should get to experience.
Today, I’m breaking down the key breakthroughs that made all the difference for me. I hope to inspire you to realize you can make whatever you want – become an educator, salon owner, six-figure stylist, or home with your kids more – happen.
Lesson 1: Your current circumstances don’t define your future
You may feel like the cards are stacked against you. That you were dealt a hard hand, and, if circumstances were different, you would be successful.
My husband and I lived a life of struggle for a long time. And when I say “life of struggle,” I mean when I launched this coaching business, we shared an oxidized 1993 Mazda with one door that didn’t open. That meant my daughter would climb into the back seat at 2:00 AM so I could drive my husband to work because we were trying to make ends meet.
But because we chose to make decisions to get us out of that situation, the struggle didn’t define us or our lives.
The cards you were dealt don’t matter. If you don’t like your cards, turn them in and try again. Until you do, the cards will look the same. You have to be the one to make the change.
Lesson 2: Find the right partner
We all want a partner that we have a great connection with and supports our dreams, right? But what if you have a partner who doesn’t support you?
If your partner isn’t behind you, it can be incredibly challenging. It’s hard to give those cards back to the dealer when the person that you sleep next to every night isn’t on the same page.
If you’re in this place, you need to have a bigger conversation. That doesn’t mean you have to leave that person; instead, improve your communication with them.
Have the conversation over coffee, wine, in a therapist’s office, or sitting in a beach chair. It has to happen because when you learn to talk to each other effectively, it changes everything.
Lesson 3: Embrace the struggle years
Often in years of struggle, everything feels impossible, overwhelming, depressing, and like there’s no way out.
Even though you can trade in those cards at any time, embrace the stage you’re in now because you’ll miss it when it’s gone.
I long for those times of struggle sometimes because it was a beautiful stage of life. Even though I was working two jobs to make ends meet, I remember the happy memories and the things that we did as a family getting by.
If you’re in a place of struggle, try and enjoy the simplicity. Let it fuel your fire, know that this too shall pass, and enjoy the moment you’re in.
Lesson 4: Don’t rush the process
I tried to open my own salon not just once, but twice. But in the negotiations, I realized I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole because it took a lot of my energy, happiness, and attention.
And, when I started coaching, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t tried it before because it made me so happy. But I couldn’t have done it because I wasn’t ready yet.
If there’s something you want to do, know sometimes you need to not rush the process. Don’t push the square peg into a round hole.
Do the soul searching, embrace the stage of your journey, and know good things are waiting for you down the line.
Lesson 5: Don’t worry what anybody else thinks
How many of you have posted on Instagram and worry somebody will think you’re full of yourself or you’re crazy?
Who cares?
Are those people going to pay your bills for you? Will they ensure your income doubles year over year? Nope.
People say mean things because they’re jealous, don’t understand, or have a poor mindset. Don’t invest time in those people because there are too many good people in your life to worry about what negative ones think.
All you can do is live your biggest, best life, and be a good, honest person. Don’t spend any time worrying about what somebody might say if you choose to take a leap. You have to chase big dreams if you want amazing things to happen. Those who truly love and support you will be there to catch you or cheer you on.
Lesson 6: Make short term sacrifices for long-term gain
There have been times where my career was advancing, but my kids needed me, or my husband needed support. It would have been so easy to put my dreams on the back burner and focus on these other pieces.
But I chose to make short term sacrifices for a long-term game. Meaning I sometimes missed events in my kids’ lives, but I know in the long term, it was a great decision for me, and my son won’t remember that I wasn’t there. Making those small sacrifices so I can be with my kids and my husband whenever I want 90% of the time is worth it.
Know everybody has the same amount of time; it’s how you choose to spend it. So when people say they just don’t have the time, it’s just an excuse.
When you’re at a business crossroads and feel like you don’t have the time or attention span, ask yourself if that’s really true. Or, ask if you doubled down for six months, could you have everything you always dreamed of and more?
Lesson 7: Balance the action with stillness
There have been times where I worked too hard. I herniated a couple of discs in my neck right as I was hosting my first retreats. It was the universe telling me to slow the heck down.
I ignored it, kept pushing through, and soon got shingles, another stress-induced illness. Since those back-to-back incidents, I’ve become really good at balancing sprints and stillness, aka white space (more about white space in the blog post here).
I work in grinding sprints, and then take this long, leisurely break where it’s just business as usual. It doesn’t mean I take weeks off, but it means I’m not grinding so hard. It becomes more of a balance, and that’s been huge for my family because if I’m in a week of grind, they know by Sunday they’ll have me back.
It can be hard for people to understand when you’re always in grind. But if you balance grind and stillness and give them a hard deadline of when they’ll have you back, they’re willing to respect the space you need to get it done.
Finding that proper balance of working hard to achieve your goals with stillness, self-reflection, goal setting, and time with your loved ones is so incredibly important.
Lesson 8: Connect with the right people
There’s this misconception that it’s lonely at the top. It’s not lonely; it’s just really exclusive.
Once you start not caring what anybody thinks, trusting yourself, and putting yourself in your top five first, you’ll be amazed at who you attract into your world.
It’s incredible when you start being more particular about where you want to find inspiration. Choose to only hang with people with a positive mindset and the drive to do better for themselves, not people who are happy with the struggle life.
Your time is limited, so why spend it with negative people? Be really selective around who gets your time, energy, and where you spend it.
Lesson 9: Less ego, more vision
Even if you don’t consider yourself egotistical, everybody has an ego.
I’ve learned the more I’m willing to be open, dream big, and take only the opportunities that align with my vision, the better off I am.
It’s easy to get swept up in working at a super cool salon even if the environment sucks and everybody’s miserable, right? Or people choose to be educators for brands that don’t treat them well instead of ones who treat their clients and stylists like gold. That’s your ego telling you it was a cool idea versus it being in line with your vision.
Think about what you want for yourself before you make any life choices. Not what feels cool and sexy, but the life you want to live. Does that opportunity fit in with your vision?
Getting clear about what you want for your life will save your sanity, marriage, as well as your relationship with your children, family, and yourself.
Lesson 10: Anything is possible if you are willing to do the work
The work gets in the way for people. We get big ideas about opening a salon or being a six-figure stylist, educator, YouTube star, even developing our own line.
It feels so exciting when you decide what you want to do… then it feels like you’re standing at the base of Everest with no climbing gear, trying to reach the peak.
If you want to climb Everest, you have to find a guide to help you and surround yourself with other experienced climbers, right? You have to do your research, find the best pickax, climbing rope, backpack, and climbing shoes. You have to map the right route, which might not be the same one everyone else is taking.
And if you do all that prep work, you’ll feel good about it when you make the climb, even when you’re nowhere close to the peak.
This lifetime is your Everest. It’s going to be what you make of it. Be willing to keep doing the work to figure out what it takes to the peak.
You can stand at the bottom looking up to the top, wishing you had the tools and the guide to get there. Or you can stop wishing, wanting, worrying, and just take the first step.
Had I not taken the first step, I wouldn’t have this incredible life, I’ve been able to create for myself. I hope this brought you a little bit of inspiration on how to create a big, beautiful life for yourself no matter what your goals are.
